started on fyp again. haven't touched it for more than two weeks already now it's not that easy to find that thread back. for the past two weeks it's all been report writing. comp vision2, dsp1, dsp2, fuzzy2, digi comm2... next week there is HR presentation on tue, digi comm test on wed and meeting sup on some day probably wed as well. i dunno wat i would show him since it seems like my progress will be slow. but seems like it is inevitable that i have to tell him i m going to take a break from fyp for exam. to think about it, i haven't really got a block of long period that i have been doing fyp. in the beginning it was just trying to understand, then after one week of hardwork, it's back to other modules and now soon i will have a break from it again. it's a bit hard to imagine how little i have done for fyp and this sememster is going to finish soon. is time passing too fast or really i m progressing too slow? or rather, there are too many things at hand so time is not enough?
ivan was telling me today how we used to study together in yr1 sem1 and wondered how we would last ourselves through the remaining 7 sems. now soon there will be only 1 left and i dun have much of a recollection of what happened in the past 6. things just flew away like little birds in the sky leaving not a trace. probably what we do every day is just so insignificant it doesn't leave an impression. there is not much difference between this sem and that.
our yr4 is definitely buried under piles of work. hmm... using 'piles' is not accurate coz it's all so digitized now. staring at computer screen 24/7. there hasn't been a time in my whole life that i m so reliable on this machine. if it's gone, i will be gone too. the funny thing is that even though one sem is going to be over soon, i got the feeling that i haven't touched much on anything. not the modules (haven't studied a little little bit for the coming digi comm test and he's testing us on 7 out of 9 chapters! the HR reading that is so thick, i touched it only twice.), not fyp, not anything. but no doubt i m busy. wrote 8 reports, plus a log book lab session. tried to pick up c++ and did a lot of debugging... or is the semester getting shorter? sch started on 11th aug, till now it's just 2 months plus. school is cheating us money!
ivan and bingjie were both saying they can't wait to get out of school. but what would happen then? people say they just want to always find happiness. but which little corner in this vast world is happiness hiding in? school doesn't provide us happiness? does working life? how about marriage? it just all seem so bleak to me now. maybe i m just such a pessimistic person. but to say that 'if i do/become... i will be happy.' just seems too much of an illusion.
once a friend told me he wishes life is like in the movie. i told him if that was true, he would die very soon because all his life will be condensed to that 2 hrs show. the reason why lives in tv programme and movie seem fantastic is because it's condensed. all the trivial daily things are truncated. what left with the audience, is the condensed essence of living, the after taste of watching other people's lives. my happiness, will be like in 'amelie', in 'taste of tea', where life can be so simple and full of delight. but that just exist in movie doesn't it? they don't have to worry about CAP, about employment, about salary and performance...
back to reality, back to FYP...
