lucky days dun last... think i m falling sick...

just finished a 2-hr law lecture, and feeling horribly dizzy... anyway i sped up the webcast to 1.5x the original speed and still could hear it clearly. that is just how slowly the lecturer normally talks. haiz... one more to go... must clear the debt today.

just realised last night if i were to go home in early May and coming back only mid June, i would have to pay the June rental before i leave. seriously broke... i estimate i would be cleaned out after paying for all the deposit, rental, plane tix and daily expenditure from now till the day i leave.

anyway just some thoughts... things are getting settled one by one, which is good. shall use the already over-used word again that we are all at the crossroad of life. basically meaning we are facing big changes in our lifestyles, living environments and so on. probably compared to certain people, i am considered advanturous and my lifestyle is sort of chaotic. yes i dislike mundane routine and i want excitement, so i embrace changes... sometimes. the bottom line is, as long as not everything is changing at the same time, that would be too overwhelming. in the swirl and twirl, i would like to hold on to something unchanging, something solid, something i could fall back on. maybe, like a cosy room of my own... that's y i dislike shifting, no matter how good the new house looks. i get used to the old house, and i create my own comfort zone there.

a new house, a new neighbourhood, new roommates*, new job, new timetable, new travelling pattern, new lifestyle as a whole... i felt like i m swept off my feet, or going to be, in a not so positive way. would i like the job? would the pay be enough? would we live in harmony? would... now the feeling is like... a lot of anticipation mixed with anxiety and distress.

still a lot of things to discuss and settle...