today met sup, played 2 hrs of badminton during which weifa got smashed several times one of them was by me, watched ocean's twelve at jurong point. it's an interesting show, but not extremely nice. a bit hard to understand some of the jokes... after volleyball, got suan about my badminton skills... haiz... am i that lousy?
i just started packing my luggage... flying off in 22 hrs time. suddently got a bit melancholy. remember when i was a kid, how i loved packing! every time go 郊游, i enjoyed the packing process most. it was a good feeling to be able to decide what to pack, what to leave behind. packing in a sense, is the prior step to going away. and going away, was such a fantasy. 8 yrs ago, when i bought my first suitcase, started shopping on things i would need and liked to bring over, the excitement was so memorable... how did the song go? 'a suitcase full of dreams...' pack a condensed form of my life in the luggage and there i was going to face the unknowns. i tot it would be fun.
and here i am, packing again, for the umpteenth time... and how i hate it now. luggage is not a lot this time. but it has never been about the amount of luggage, it's about i m going away again. so many times i flew to and fro, so many times ppl say goodbye bon voyage, and so many times of shifting from here to there... all the suitcases, all the boxes, all the bags... just to remind me that i have to go again, i have to shift again... probably i m getting old, other than going on a short trip with friends, i dun enjoy traveling any more.
saying this it sounds weird. coz sometimes i nag alot about being homesick. i remember the earlier years, every time i would look forward to go home so much and always dread that i have to come back again. if i could choose, i probably would have never come back. but since when, i dun wanna think abt it, dun wanna pack my bag till the last min as my departure date gets closer... since when as i had to say byebye to frenz who were sending me off, i feel sad and reluctant to go... since when, there started to have things i care for and things i would miss here... but believe me, after a few days at home, the thought of having to come back to sch is really a dread. the one of having to leave my parents and not being able to stay with them, take care of them is even worse... probably, i just dun want to move... i just want to stay at one place, with all those i care being around me. ppl like me, and the bugs, we are like a hybrid of two cultures, we are like standing at the cross road dunno where to go, being constantly torn. we want to settle down, but where?
there are definitely more travelling in the future, and to more places also. seems like it's inevitable. but i m starting to feel, that i may not be a nomad by nature...