had digi comm paper today. it's not a difficult paper but i didn't do well. feeling damn demoralised now. read notes, did past yr papers, all similar questions, but still... can't quite call it careless mistakes. probably my concept is still messy in th end. well, maybe i m not that smart after all.
it's true that i dun haf a lot of time to study coz my papers are v crammed. but that sounds like a weak excuse. as i m studying with everybody, i constantly have the feeling that i m one beat behind. when i m doing comp vision they are doing fuzzy, when i start on fuzzy they already started on digi comm and finally when i m on digi comm they've done sth else. now tml i m going to have dsp paper and my understanding of it is still so lousy, need guofeng to explain it to me. it's never a discussion, coz it's always a one way of information flowing-ppl teaching me. feel kinda low.
somehow my self esteem is never very high, it hangs on a thin line and i need constant assurance from external to sustain, be it from other ppl or that i did sth well. every time sth goes wrong then my self esteem goes on a skiing trip. some ppl say it's because my expectation is too high. but on the other hand, having low expectation is equal to admit i m incapable isn't it? i kinda wish now that i could find a corner to hide myself and never come out again until everybody forgets about me.
what's wrong with me?