realised that now my whole design part of dsp lab1 might be wrong... becoz my fren told me the deviation should put [0.01 0.01] instead of [0.0085 0.0085]. that lab i did it until 4am in the morning some time ago and now it's just so frustrating just to think about re-doing it.
of course my friend is not purposely telling me wrong info and i can't fault him for trying to help. but i also can't help feeling an anger that is directed at myself. only if i m smarter and can solver everything on my own, then i wouldn't have to ask other ppl for help. actually i really dun like to ask for help one. worse is followed wrong instruction. can't blame anyone but myself.
these days feel very heated up, agitated... probably i m having an anxiety attack. i hate myself like this but i hate myself more for being not smart enough. feel so defeated. the frustration of can't accomplish things really can eat u up... now i kinda understand why ppl kill themselves becoz of sch stress. coz u feel so helpless, and on top of that so useless...
the worst thing of all, is i also dunno how to do other labs and still need to ask for help... ya that just made me feel even more stupid... sigh...